NEGLIGENT: failing to exercise the care of a reasonably prudent person in like circumstances.
Well, these are all good lessons . . . no, great lessons. I just wish I didn't have to learn them the hard way.
Three years ago today, my daddy went in to Las Palmas Hospital in El Paso, Texas for surgery. Because of the negligent, deplorable action of one nurse, he never made it home.
I will admit it is very, VERY, difficult to swallow the pain that chokes me as I remember the 10 weeks following daddy's surgery that changed our lives forever. It's still so fresh. It is so hard to look back on events and not wish for a "do-over". Why didn't we choose a different hospital? Why didn't I take daddy to Chicago or L.A. instead? Why did we leave daddy alone that afternoon and go get lunch? If only, if only, if only . . .
Now, three years later, I must reconcile one fact. Sometimes there are no "do-overs". Only lessons.
Upon reflection, here are a few things I have learned:
I have gained a greater and deeper compassion for others who have suffered an "unfair" loss. Before Las Palmas Hospital, I could not in my wildest imagination fathom the depth of someone's pain at losing a loved one because of a care-giver's fatal mistake.
I have stood before God - sometimes strong, sometimes weak - and learned to trust Him regardless of the pain, anger and disappointment I sometimes feel. I trust that He loves me. I trust that He is the God Who Sees. I trust that He will restore.
I have learned what a great and precious gift "hope" is. The hope of His return. The hope of His promise. The hope of being united together with Christ in glory forever.
I have learned that I am not alone. Jesus understands my pain. Remember, He's the One whose sweat became like drops of blood in the agony of the cross. If anybody undertands trauma, He does. Completely.
Well, these are all good lessons . . . no, great lessons. I just wish I didn't have to learn them the hard way.
I too think back on the events that took place during the time that daddy was in the hospital and ask myself how did this happen and where was I. Why wasn't I there to prevent this from happening? There is so much guilt and regret and yet I can't do it all over again. I have to trust that God was in control that day and He had a better plan for dad.
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