Letting Go

"Let go."

I don't even like the sound of those words.

"Let go, H."

I grip tighter.  Maybe if I re-group, re-evaluate. There must be a way to make this work. What am I missing?

"Me."

Romans 8: 32 - He who did not withhold or spare [even] His own Son, but gave Him up for us all ~ will He not also with Him freely and graciously give us all [other] things?

In my previous post I shared that I am growing in the understanding that by failing to walk in constant communion with God (in every moment, in every situation), I am choosing to rely on my own ability, my own wisdom, my own insight, and my own strength to live. As I have struggled to give up my independence, I am beginning to realize that when I am connected to the Creator of the Universe I don't need anything else!  In those times when I feel lack, it is because I am not connecting with God at a deep level.  That's when I feel anxious and my mind takes control.  I think and plan and worry and stew.  I am determined to make things go MY way. I pour all my resources into finding a way to make it work.

Heaven help me! I forget that He is in charge of my life.  He has the answer.  He is the solution.  I am only required to do two things:

1) Let go. Refuse to worry about anything.

2) Switch my focus from the problem to His Presence.

It sounds so simple but it is so hard (at least for me, it is). It is a constant discipline which I have yet to master. I am thankful that the Holy Spirit continues to invite me to come; and when I do, I am never disappointed. To the degree that I submit, I am filled.

Here And Now Continued

2 Corinthians 4:18 - So we fix our eyes ~ not on what is seen ~ but on what is UNSEEN, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

In my continuing quest to meet God right here, right now, I have been struggling with laying every thing else aside and focusing on Him.  One of the roadblocks is my To Do List.  (Ah, yes . . . the perpetual To Do List.)  It's that running list I keep in my head at all times of all the things I need to do to gain control of my life.  The idea is that if I can just cross everything off my list, I will find peace and be able to relax.

The problem is that I never seem to get ahead of my list! No sooner do I make some headway, when a whole new batch of things crop up that need attention.  I try harder. Run faster. Work later. There is just no time to meet God NOW and take advantage of my access to His presence.

Isn't that crazy?

If I made time for His presence, He would help me sort out what is important. He would give me the strength I need to face the challenges in my life. He would make me more efficient and effective.  Even my failures would be recycled into something good! In His presence I would find the peace I am trying so hard to achieve in my To Do List.

Going back to my previous post . . . I am trying to give up my self-sufficiency and embrace unashamed dependence on Him.  It's difficult, but I'm working on it.

Here And Now

I was reading a daily devotional recently and the writer was making the point that, "the PRESENT is where God always awaits you."  For some reason those words ~ and that realization ~ struck me.  I haven't been able to get the idea out of my head.

I decided to dig a little deeper.

What is becoming a revelation to me is that I am meant to live in the present. Right here, right now.  Most people (myself included) let their moments slip through their fingers, half-lived.  They avoid the present (either consciously or unconsciously) by worrying about the future or longing for / regretting the past.  Unfortunately by avoiding the present and failing to meet God NOW, we do not take advantage of our access to His glorious presence and all that that entails.

Why is that so important?

I know I am only beginning to scratch the surface of understanding in this area but what is becoming clear to me is that by failing to walk in constant communion with God (in every moment, in every situation), I am choosing to rely on my own ability, my own wisdom, my own insight, and my own strength to live.  Heaven help me!

This was never God's design.  Since the garden we were created to be intimately connected to Him.  God wants us to give up our self-sufficiency and embrace unashamed dependence on Him knowing that His power is made perfect in our weakness.  He wants us to seek Him for the answers we need to even the simplest questions; He wants to be our Source; He wants to guide and direct our decisions and choices; He wants to equip us and train us to maturity; He wants to supply what we need when we need it.

It sounds wonderful.  The hard part is yielding my stubborn will to utter dependence on Him.  I want to voluntarily learn the discipline of meeting Him in the present and learning to see everything from His perspective.   I don't think I know how to actively, consistently do this . . . but I am on a quest to find out.