Today is Daddy's birthday.
I selfishly wish he were here but I keep reminding myself that he is celebrating with the King of Kings today.
I had a dream about my dad last night. I was being attacked by a snake and he rushed out of the house with his rifle and shot it. I was so glad he was there to save me.
I miss my dad. It has been two years since he passed away and the ache of his loss still squeezes my heart. Unfortunately many of the memories that flood my mind are unpleasant, painful memories of his last weeks in the hospital. I run circles around the “why” and “what if” questions. I go back in my mind and try to re-write the events that transpired and change the outcome. I cry. I shout. I pound my pillow. I grieve.
I can relate to King David.
Psalms 6: 6-7:
I am worn out from sobbing. Every night tears drench my bed; my pillow is wet from weeping. My vision is blurred by grief; my eyes are worn out because of all my enemies.
But thankfully, dawn comes.
And with it; hope.
After a night of thrashing about I am spent . . . and finally the Comforter can get a word in edge-wise.
1 Thessalonians 4: 13-14, 16-18
And now, brothers and sisters, I want you to know what will happen to the Christians who have died so you will not be full of sorrow like people who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and was raised to life again, we also believe that when Jesus comes, God will bring back with Jesus all the Christians who have died.
For the Lord Himself will come down from heaven with a commanding shout, with the call of the archangel, and with the trumpet call of God. First, all the Christians who have died will rise from their graves. Then, together with them, we who are still alive and remain on the earth will be caught up in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air and remain with Him forever! So comfort and encourage each other with these words.
I am comforted. I have assurance. I will see Daddy again and be with him and the Lord forever. I can hardly wait.
Have you ever been faced with a problem that seems to have NO solution? Something that seems totally out of your hands? A problem that follows you around all day - taunting, nagging, distracting you?
Me too.
My type A personality hates those kinds of problems. I'm more of a "jump in and fix it" kind of girl. Standing by the sidelines unable to spring-in-to-action is the worst kind of torture for me.
Psalms 37:7 says, "Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for Him to act. Don't worry about evil people who prosper or fret about their wicked schemes."
Okay, Lord. I'll try.
My friend Janna forwarded me a cool "redneck" email. You've probably heard the "you might be a redneck" jokes by Jeff Foxworthy, right? Well, the email I received from Janna offered a cool twist on that theme. I don't know who the author is but the fine print at the bottom says, "By Design Publishing". Check it out:
"If it never occurred to you to be offended by the phrase, 'One Nation Under God', you might be a redneck."
"If you've never protested about seeing the Ten Commandments posted in public places, you might be a redneck."
"If you still say 'Christmas' instead of 'Winter Festival', you might be a redneck."
"If you stand and place your hand over your heart when the National Anthem is played, you might be a redneck."
"If you bow your head when someone prays, you might be a redneck."
There are more, but I think you get the idea.
I guess I'm a redneck! Who knew?
This date rolls around every year. It must. It's set in stone. It's my birth-date.
Its funny how differently one feels about one's birthday as they get older. I remember anticipating my special day with great joy and expectation when I was a little girl. I loved being the center of attention and getting to be the princess for the day. Thoughts of birthday parties, presents, cupcakes, and outings with friends are still fresh in my mind.
Now things are a little different. I dread adding one more year to the "how old are you?" question. I don't like looking too closely in the mirror and seeing those tell-tale signs of aging. I'm sometimes anxious about how quickly time is passing and realizing that I might not actually reach my goal of becoming a movie star before my life is over! And is it really possible that motherhood will never find me?
Sigh.
But then something sweet and wonderful happens. I read an encouraging email from a dear friend telling me how important I am to them. I listen to a cheerful voicemail of the "Happy Birthday Song" sung by a loved one who can't carry a tune in a bucket but who sings for me anyway. I receive a funny card in the mail reminding me that age is just a number and as long as I still have all my teeth I have reason to celebrate! My mom calls and tells me the story (again) of the day I was born. And most importantly, the precious Spirit of God whispers in my ear, "You are relevant. You have been bought with a price. You are Mine. I love you yesterday (in-spite of your failures). I love you today (as you walk out My plans for you). I'll love you forever (because that is My promise)."
Ahhhh.
So today begins another chapter in my life's story.
Today is a travel day. Which translates into running around like a mad woman getting everything cleaned and organized, packing (not forgetting anything important) and getting to the airport ON TIME. That last part is always a challenge because my clock runs about 15 minutes behind everyone else's.
As I run around checking things off my list, I am reminding myself to invite the Divine to participate in my ordinary life. Although some would say my life is far from ordinary, still, I want to experience the higher plans of God today . . . and everyday.
